Sunday, October 17, 2010

Just one of those days.

Well, Joe's been gone a month (on the 19th) and it hasn't gotten easier. For a good part of this month the command sponsership website hasn't worked so I didn't know where we were on the wait list. Well the website is working again and we haven't moved. We're still #32. So it's looking like I'm not going to go to Korea now meaning Joe will be gone for a year. He'll get to come home for a month at some point but then I have to go through sending him back to Korea....again. With knowing that, I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this next year. It's been a month and I haven't handled it well at all. There are days I feel like I'll be completely fine with him being gone for a year and there are days I don't know how I can possibly survive the rest of the day.

To make matters worse, I have to go through my 2nd Thanksgiving, his birthday, Christmas, and New Years without Joe. I'm terrified he'll come home next year, we'll go wherever the Army sends us, and then he'll deploy AGAIN for the holidays. I would love to have 1 full year with him before we have kids or anything like that. It doesn't look like that will be happening for a few more years.

If I were near my parents like I was while he was deployed this would be a lot easier. But I'm living alone for the first time ever and it sucks. I'm not looking forward to this again. I've got Joe's dad and step-mom an hour away (who doesn't come to Savannah), my cousin almost an hour and a half away (who doesn't come to Savannah), Joe's sister who is about 30 minutes away (who I haven't seen since....August and doesn't seem to have any interest in talking to me), and one friend here in Savannah. Of all of them, the only one to ask how I've been and to come see me is Dana (the friend here in Savannah). Thats sad but I'm glad I at least have her.

By the is one of those days I don't know how I'll go on...=\

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